before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
