i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
