Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
