I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
