So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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