Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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