New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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