Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
