Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have tasted many bathrooms
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
