Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He kissed a someone with a penis
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize