Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
