im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
