i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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