bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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