So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
