Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
