I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
