I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
