Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
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I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
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Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize