I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
