as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
