the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
