nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she told me i tasted like america
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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