Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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