We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
vagina is talking i cant
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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