nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
