Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
