I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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