The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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