seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
