Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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