Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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