My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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