Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I got chris browned last night
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
