Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
