Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
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Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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