Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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