I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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