If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
