My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
