Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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