Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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