He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
