I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
