Dual....:-)
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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