Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
