i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
