i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
