# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize