I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dick very happy bro
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
