I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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