Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
