he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He told me they were just razor bumps!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
