She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
