Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
