So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize