Swine flu. Run for my life!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
