I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize