Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize