I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
People in love make me want to vomit
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
