Will you blow on my dice?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Still dying that you shit outside
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
