then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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