just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
