no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
