I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
