Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she looked like the before picture.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
