She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
