why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
we're so committed to being not committed
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
