I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
