seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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