He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize