Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
